Torao-Iwagakure Genin

Subject: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Mon Aug 16, 2010 11:55 pm

Name:Torao
Alias: N/A
Age:13
Gender:Male
Height:5 Feet 2 Inches
Weight:97 lbs.

Appearance:

Spoiler:

Race:Japanese
Hair:Black, spiky.
Eyes:Right Eye is Green, Left Eye is Brown.
Body:Slim/Slender.
Ethnicity:Tsume no Kuni/Kiba no Kuni

Personality:Torao used to be very outgoing when he was younger, but after the incident with his brother he became more quiet and secretive. He didn't allow many people to know of him, and only talk philosophically. This was a trait that was possibly passed down from the Liger chieftain.

Village:Iwagakure
Title:Genin
Special Titles:N/A
Missing Ninja Class:N/A

Karma:

Alignment:

Renown:

Rank:E-Rank
Experience Points: 10
Bloodline:N/A
Element:N/A
Fighting Type/Style:Ninjutsu(Mastery),Taijutsu(Secondary)
Sub Fighting style:
Inventory:

Twin Tantos(Raiga-Tsume and Raiga-Hanone)
29x Kunai
15x Shuriken
Seal Scroll x1

Kekkai Genkai:N/A

Combat Styles:N/A

Bloodline Limits:N/A

Jinchuriki:Eight-Tailed Giant Ox

Jutsu Total:
Jutsus:
Basic

Spoiler:

Missions Completed:

D-Rank:1
C-Rank:0
B-Rank:0
A-Rank:0
S-Rank:0
Total:0

Background:
In the land between Takigakure and Otokagure, there were two other, more minor countries. The land of Claws and Land of Fangs. In this land, the two villages had much tension with one another. However, some shinobi were able to get along. One example was the couple Kidu of the Claws and Tsu of the Fangs. They were not hated for one reason, and this is the same reason this village began to rise from minor to major. She was the eight tailed jinchuriki. She recieved the hachibi shortly after her first son was born, and trained with it over the years to become a more skilled jinchuriki, and to help keep it in side of Tsu, Kidu started to learn good and powerful sealing jutsu.

As the lands of Fangs and Claws grew larger due to publicity, they're tensions only softened. As it became more calm, Tsu and Kidu decided to have another child. As the time for the date of the child's birth grew closer and closer, now at the nine month marker, Tsu was diagnosed with a deadly and fatal disease. It was pretty much assured she would die either before or right after child birth. The peace of the two lands instantly shifted, as they knew once Tsu died, the Hachibi would be released, and a new jinchuriki would be needed. Both lands direly wanted it, and tried to capture the family multiple times. Even though she was sick and pregnant though, Tsu was still able to protect her family.

As tensions kept rising, both lands got the bright idea to attack the other village to possibly stop them from getting the Hachibi. This resulted in a huge battle in both lands that resulted with many deaths. During the battle, Tsu went into labor. As the baby was born, Tsu's heart began to slow down. Kidu got his first son into safety and prepped himself for the sealing, as well as his new unnamed child. Kidu said his final goodbye to Tsu, and as she died, the seal dissipated. The hachibi was released and escaped the area, and Kidu missed his opportunity. It ran off towards were the battle was going on in the middle of both lands. Kidu went to chase after it, bringing his new son with him. Kidu was able to catch up, and arrived to find it killing off many of the shinobi's who were in the middle of their war. Kidu watched and waited as he saw the shinobi began attacking the Hachibi, and at the moment it was stunned by them, he sprang into action. He used the sealing jutsu he was taught , but it was not enough. He pleaded all of the shinobi's to help in the sealing. Using all their chakra, all shinobi combined power and made the seal powerful enough to be able to subdue the hachibi. The hachibi was put into the boy and the boy became the jinchuriki of the Eight tailed ox. Since Kidu of the claws was his father, the Jinchuriki belonged to the claws village.

Four years past after that event, and the boy who was sealed with the demon became to be known as Torao, for the fact that most of his power came from both the Claws and Fangs, like a tige. His brother's jealousy grew more and more over the years. Why was his brother so famous? Why does he get all the attention!? These were some of the thoughts that ran through his brother's head. Despite the fact Torao loved his brother, the feeling was not mutual. His brother figured the only way to make people pay attention to the himself was to dispose of his brother. He planned on abandoning his brother way out of the village, on the outskirts of the Land almost. After graduating the academy, and convincing his parents he was going on a mission, he abducted Torao, convincing him to come because it would be fun and this will help him become a ninja. As they traveled far, and made it far off from the village, Torao's brother proclaimed he has always hated Torao and wish he was never born. After these heartbreaking words, Torao's brother left Torao to die. Torao's brother was able to convince everybody in the village he was abducted for his Hachibi.

Torao had no idea where to go or what to do, and gave up. Being four years old, he began to cry and was bawling his eyes out. A nearby Liger however heard his whining and went over to see what it was. The Liger was a cub, who strayed off from his pack by accident. As Torao saw the Liger, he mistook it for his household cat he used to play with. He began to chase it around in a playful manner, and the Liger didn't fight back. After Torao caught up with it and caught it, he began petting it and showed much affection to the lone Liger. They connected and became bonded, as they had much in common. After surviving for a week alone, a much older Liger appeared, and its mane glowed very brightly. It appeared as if it was electricity. Torao grabbed the cub and ran from the older Liger, but it was much faster then the cub. The cub then looked at Torao and said, "Don't worry, he's my brother."

Torao was shocked at the fact that what he thought was his cat was actually a random animal. He was even more shocked at the fact it spoke. The Liger cub then explained what he was. He belonged to a pride of Ligers that were infused with elements and gained power from this, and their elements became their mane. Certain animals evolved in the world, and this Liger and its pride were no exception. They were at such an advanced and powerful level that they could speak. Torao asked the cub why he didn't have a mane, and the cub said, "I was born without an element, like our chieftain. Maybe I'll become strong like him someday!" The brother explained that he would not leave Torao, and would bring him to their pride's home to consult with the leader of the pride to see if he could be raised there. Before they headed, Torao had one question. "What are your names?" The cub's name was Shi, the older brother was Raikou.

As they arrived at the Pride's home, which was a rock formation with a large cavern hidden in the formation. As Shi and Raikou approached the cavern, they motioned Torao to come into the cavern. As the three entered, they were approached by the guards, the one with the rock mane was Koudo, and the fire mane was Kasai, who was the father of Raitou and Shi. As they noticed a human, they argued with Shi and Raikou. Why is he here? Humans are forbidden! They went at it for a while until the Chieftain of the Pride stepped down to see what was the comotion. He was a large and very powerful looking creature, with many elements as his mane, perhaps them all. The chieftain heard Torao's story and understood humans betrayed him too. He decided to have Kasai raise Torao for helping protect the lone cub, Shi, and for the fact he was betrayed like this. But when he was old enough, it would be time to learn how to survive on his own and apply the survival skills the Ligers will teach Torao. Torao accepted this, and claimed he would sign the blood contract between the Ligers and Torao, making him an honorary member of the pride.

After seven years in the pride, Torao was brought to the gate of Iwaagakure by Raikou and Shi. Before leaving, The chieftain informed Torao that this is a fine ninja village where he can become very talented and learn how to survive in the world. If you ever need help, or if you wish for more training, if you believe you are worthy, come back to the Rock and you will recieve training, were the chieftains finally words to Torao before Torao left. Shi said to his brother he wanted to stay with Torao and help him grow and become more powerful. Raikou allowed this, and traveled back to the rock. Torao opened the Iwagakure gates and went in, and was able to find a home for himself and become inducted into the academy. After two years there, Torao passed the academy and became a Genin ninja, however he was an odd one out and didn't get a squad. His next objective, become worthy of the Liger clan, and be more then just honorary.

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Tue Aug 17, 2010 12:07 am

I know that this is still WIP, but I wanted to say that you're making good progress and that there are just some technical things you need to fix:

Firstly, in the section where it says what village you're from, just say you're from Konoha. You can explain all the formally stuff in your character's history.

Second, on Fighting type/style, if you're a Ninjutsu Master, you can't have the sub style of Armed-Taijutsu. That is only for those who have Taijutsu Master as their first fighting type and since you have it listed as your secondary, you can't have Armed-Taijutsu as your sub style. If you would like to keep that, then switch Taijutsu from secondary to master.

Finally, I'm assuming your Tantos (since they are named) are some sort of special item so you would have to properly apply and submit them into the equipment creation section to be approved if they have any sort of special traits or abilities. I'm assuming so since you wouldn't have taken the time to properly name them.

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Tue Aug 17, 2010 12:26 am

Just a friendly welcome to the site, If you can find the welcome board why not make an appearance? it helps people get to know you. Also Ahira, if you see a profile listed with Jinchuriki in it would you mind going to the guide-sama and changing the list to say Reserved or Link the RPC, even while its still in creation, keeps us from forgetting. \

Thumbs up on profile progress.

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Tue Aug 17, 2010 2:32 am

Sure, no problem. I would edit it into the thread directly, but I can't do that since I'm not an admin so I'll just reply to the thread. I hope that's all right.

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Tue Aug 17, 2010 3:06 am

Is that section admin only? Hmm no worries just pm me then, sall good xD

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Tue Aug 17, 2010 8:34 pm

Done.

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Tue Aug 17, 2010 9:31 pm

Okay, this back story does not coincide with actual characters already on the site. Unfortunately Torao can not have been the son of the Raikage of the time since the current Raikage has been the leader of Kumo at least a few years before his first son was born and his first son is fifteen years old.

Now then, I'm fine with you applying for the Jinchuriki, but you need to change up your character's history because it severely conflicts with characters who already have existed on the site prior to your arrival.

Fix these changes, and I shall look over it again and until then it is pending for approval still.

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Tue Aug 17, 2010 11:34 pm

The style points are off >.> the fifth point can only be used in a substyle, not a primary (meaning ninjutsu taijutsu ect.)you can leave it blank if you wish, which no one seems to understand...

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Wed Aug 18, 2010 2:04 am

You know I'm beginning to question this whole style point sub business, I think sub should be optional. Will be discussing with Mods/Admins shortly, as it may change.

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Wed Aug 18, 2010 9:51 am

Ahira wrote:: Okay, this back story does not coincide with actual characters already on the site. Unfortunately Torao can not have been the son of the Raikage of the time since the current Raikage has been the leader of Kumo at least a few years before his first son was born and his first son is fifteen years old.

I may have made a typo, but Torao is not the son of Raikage. He is the son of Raitou. I'll revise real quick to confirm if i made that typo.

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Wed Aug 18, 2010 2:16 pm

For the time being the point system restricts you from spending all 5 points in main styles, 1 must be sub, or unspent for the allowance of an extra KG slot.

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Wed Aug 18, 2010 4:46 pm

A naturally well written story lad but it requires re-evaluation, be sure to know characters on the site's lifespan and time rule before creating a story involving reigning characters for instance. Your character's young age and events before birth would completely contrast with Raikage Shigeyasu Hatakeyama, as he held power for an extended period of time even before his first son's birth. His youth, in coordination to the Site prologue would have been around the ending parts of Hokage Naruto Uzumaki's 35 reign. Due to this he would know nothing of the Jinchuriki of Uzumaki nor would he have heard the stories being that in his time he was busy in warring events with Konoha's Ashikaga clan. Because of this many parts of your story would remain invalid, I suggest if you choose not to recreate this background, consider tweaking it with the approval and help of the current Raikage player. Keep in mind all points of Character creation counts including the background do not undermine this part if anything this requires the most work out of everything.

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Wed Aug 18, 2010 5:08 pm

This back story is, indeed, very well-written and thought out. Unfortunately because all the Kage positions are taken, at least from the main countries, you need to either coordinate with the Raikage (which I'm sure would be possible if you just ask XD), or create a background regarding one of the smaller countries. Keep in mind that those countries don't have Kages, per say, but they need to have some kind of order and surely you have those that are self-proclaimed leaders of their countries to maintain that order.

Now then, I would hate to see this character not get approved based on minor details like this, but though minor they are, they are still important aspects of the character that should be acknowledged. Character Creation, in its essence, is where one's skill as a role player shines. If you still feel stuck and need help, feel free to ask anyone on staff to help you.

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Wed Aug 18, 2010 8:01 pm

I'm note 100% sure what I was supposed to do, but changing Taijutsu to secondary solved the point problem right? The system is slightly confusing, and I was a little more confused when there no values displayed on the Style point system page xD

As for the story issue, I asked Chemical who if I'm right is the owner of the Raikage xD I'm just waiting on confirmation. If not, i can work around a new story.

Posts : 95 Join date : 2010-08-01 Age : 33 Location : Cali

*Know he isn't staff but meh will help anyway*

You might want to just come up with a new story for the background to be something else etc. As Chemical and Shifty are inactive a bit :/

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Sat Aug 21, 2010 8:57 pm

*Pokes at Fate*

Aye lad this be true, they are a little busy with certain things but like I said if permission is not granted then you might as well go with what fate says on this, if you wish to create another background or if you have permission state so we can get this character out of here and into role playing.

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Mon Aug 23, 2010 2:01 pm

Updated

Changes made

-Updated story, no longer Land of lightning. Did research, decided to use two minor lands.
-Now an Iwagakure genin, konoha seemed a little inactive. Not trying to offend anyone. (If this is a problem, then I can change it.)

Subject: Re: Torao-Iwagakure Genin Mon Aug 23, 2010 7:19 pm

All right, read over everything and I am pleased to say that the history rewrite for this character is definitely both original and interesting. Looking forward to meeting your character, Arete.

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